Day 5

Today I woke up feeling completely and utterly meh. It's like inside my head I've decided I'm probably not pregnant, and I don't feel anything physically or emotionally. I remember feeling this way during my first FET wait, and it was negative, but then again I felt completely confident during the fresh cycle with the same result. Partway through the afternoon I thought maybe I feel this way because it's just intuition, that somehow I just know it didn't work. But I told Cory about it and he said it's just one of those days where I'm handling it better than other days. I hope he's right. I'm the kind of person who plays scenarios over and over in my head, and on the drive home I was imagining what it might be like if the nurse called with good news, so he's probably right.

I kinda wish I had a counselor to talk to, someone with a lot of objective experience in how people handle stressful situations like this, just so they can reassure me that this stuff is normal. It has to be normal. Brains and hormones are so frustrating, and you'd think that for someone who tries to be so in tune with my body that I'd be able to be more in tune with my brain.

Three more days.