Saturday, May 3, 2014

Happy National Infertility Survival Day

I know that part of the reason National Infertility Survival Day came into existence was to help those who are struggling get through Mother's Day. Mother's day sucks when you're not a mother. I'm with you. But when I first read about it, it made me feel more like celebrating it meant that the best part of motherhood is Mother's Day and because I can't have it I'm just going to make up my own holiday instead, so there. Kind of like Single's Awareness Day on Valentine's Day. And I didn't think I wanted anything to do with it.

But this year I'm going to celebrate Survival Day. I'm going to take a few quiet moments to myself and honor myself, and Cory, for getting this far. We've gone through years of sadness and emptiness, but those same years we've also enjoyed happiness and fullness. Our marriage has never been stronger. I have never been stronger. And life gets in the way, other people's opinions get in the way, and sometimes I feel guilty or selfish or weak or broken. But tomorrow I will honor myself for being proud, and generous, and strong and whole, no matter what seat I'm sitting on in life's roller coaster. Tomorrow I will throw up my arms and trust myself, that the decisions I've made and the path I've forged so far are going in the right direction, no matter the destination.


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