Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Bodies are Weird.

Still spotting. I'd almost rather have had just a big gush of it than a week of such light spotting. I still get teensy little "ack!" moments when I see that it's not finished yet, but at least I'm not super worried about it anymore.

I was thinking, though, how after all the reading I've done about what's going on in there, after all of the doctors and the gadgets and the drugs, it's still a really weird feeling to not know what's going on inside of my body but at the same time to be so keenly aware of the overall thing that's happening. I mean, it's not like I know what's going on when I get a phantom ache, but that's over in a second. For this, though - it's so strange to hear a separate heartbeat inside of me. And to not know what is going on, and to have to rely on external tools and symptoms (so far) to figure it out - and that things that should sound bad (like bleeding) can be common and OK. Weird stuff.

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