Well, I don't feel as horrible as I did last time. Maybe it's because I was steeling myself for it. Maybe because it was less invasive than last time. Maybe because I didn't have that blind optimism I had the first time around.
Now we have to figure out what to do. I have four embryos left, but they're of lower quality than the ones we transferred. I doubt my RE will tell me whether I should even try with the lower quality ones or if we should just try again with new eggs and sperm. Or try something else.
Or I could go with another clinic. One of the things I've been beating myself up about this afternoon is not going with the clinic that had higher success rates. At the time, the only reason I went with my current RE clinic is because they had an earlier consultation appointment available, and I didn't want to pay another $400 to go to the other clinic's consult too; and I frankly thought that once we did ICSI I'd be pregnant like that. Why oh why was I so optimistic? (Because I had no option to hindsight!)
I guess either way I have to wait, because another FET isn't covered in my current financial package so that'd be another few thousand dollars out of pocket, and switching to the other clinic would be another $10-15 grand. We MIGHT be able to figure out how to do another FET relatively soon, but switching is out of the question until we get the current failures paid off.