Ready as I'll Ever Be

Everything is packed:
* The diaper bag with half a dozen diapers, change of clothes, sweatshirt, socks, hat, wet bag, diaper rash ointment, disposable diapers in case the cloths run out, pacifiers, bibs for drool, several Tommee Tippee bottles.
* My pump, with a Nalgene bottle for milk storage during the day at work and a zip-lock bag for taking pump parts home to wash in the evening.
* A bag with lunches for Cory and me for two days is in the fridge, so we can spend our lunch hours at day care and not have to worry about food.
* An insulated bag with a few dozen ounces of frozen milk is in the freezer, and one bottle of milk is thawing in the fridge so Ivy can drink it tomorrow.
* The contract, a check and other daycare-related paperwork

I've taken a shower so I don't have to do it tomorrow, and Ivy has a bath scheduled for before bed. A swaddle blanket is in our bed ready to be slept on (for the smell) and packed tomorrow morning. Ivy's medicine is measured in a small bottle and in the fridge so we can quickly feed it to her tomorrow morning. I feel like I'm forgetting something.

I wanted to end my maternity leave with a little mini-celebration, to end on a positive note, to take my mind off of this impending separation. We were going to go to Oktoberfest but there were too many people. I started thinking of things to do instead but Cory didn't feel well today, so we laid low at home. I went for a quick grocery shopping trip alone this afternoon (after misplacing my keys for twenty minutes), rushing back after texts from Cory (he hasn't spent much time alone with her and she was fussy).

I feel like I'm being dragged by Time, who is wearing a big black mask, kicking and screaming towards tomorrow. I'm trying so hard to "get my fill" of Ivy today, with frantic kisses and desperate cuddles and blinking back tears as I stare at her as hard as I can. Please don't make me do this.