One Month Already

My little sweet pea, I have no idea how it's been a month already. It honestly seems like last week that I reached for a brand-new you, still attached to me, and said hello to you for the first time. I wish your first two weeks went a little bit differently - I wish I could remember more of our first moments, unfettered by the hemorrhage. I wish that you didn't have to know already what it's like to have strangers messing with you, to have tubes in your nose and down your throat, to hurt despite morphine. But, aside from lots of check-ups, that part of your life is done and mama won't leave you alone any more.

Our lives are much happier now that we're home. We're slowly settling into - not a routine, exactly, but a strategy. You're throwing us curve balls every once in awhile, like yesterday when (apart from a few catnaps) you stayed awake almost all day and into the night. Nursing still isn't coming naturally to us, but we have an appointment with a lactation consultant on Monday and you're at least learning to latch a little more quickly than before. (We'll get there!) You're an easy baby overall, and while there's no reason why we'd deserve that, we are very happy that now we can just enjoy you. After all the trouble you've been, from the time you were only ingredients inside of us, it's nice to have a little break.

Linus and Dexter aren't quite adjusted to you yet, but we know that will come. We, on the other hand, count our blessings every day, even through the sleepy or frustrated times. You can't know how much we adore you. Your daddy and I have settled into our orbit around your light, and there we'll stay forever.