CD1, Again

Here we are, back at CD1, better known as "you failed at one of the most basic biological acts for the tenth time in a row!"

For a long time, I've been pretty content to let nature take its course, being patient because maybe the Universe just had different timing than me and I'd get pregnant when I was supposed to. Yesterday all that went to shit and I decided it's ridiculous to keep trying without at least checking in with a doctor.

I think part of the problem was that my temperature spiked higher than it's ever been before, about three days ago. I was SURE that was a sign. Lack of other symptoms be damned, we were finally there. Well, lack of other symptoms except that I was dying of hot for a few days. But then the next day it went back down to the normal range, and fell a little more the next day, and then today I had to reluctantly dig out my Diva Cup.

I knew yesterday that it was not to be. Incidentally, my coworker announced yesterday that he and his wife were pregnant. I wasn't really all that upset, certainly not NEARLY as upset as when my cousin was successful after only one month of trying. That's a long story that I'm not going to get into here. But it was a good catalyst for my making an appointment at the Clinic to see a new OBGYN and see if I can have a fertility consult. They haven't gotten back to me yet but hopefully they can do a new patient visit, annual exam, fertility consult/screening and a sperm count all in one visit. I'm crossing my fingers.

It's very odd to be at this point. I was always under the impression that the women in our family got pregnant when you looked at us funny. I remember telling my friend Rini that I expected to get pregnant the first or second month. Hah.

Now to wait for the doctor to call me back, and to cheer up. It's not so bad, not having a baby right now. Kinda.